Happy Mother's Day

In honor of Mother's Day, I thought I'd share a story that my mother told me over the phone today. But first, I have to say...

I call her in Kentucky (nearly) every day from England. We pay about 3p a minute with BT's long-distance plan. I've lived away from my family since August 2001, getting 'home' about once a year. Sometimes it's really hard to be away from them but those daily calls with Mom keep us all close despite the distance. We share our anecdotes about the kids, and keep up with their lives.

Plus, she's my biggest fan. (Sweet!) She listens to me. She gets me. She puts up with my shit and loves me unconditionally. I can't wait to get another hug from her.

And still another bonus for me on Mother's Day: she cracks. me. up! Always has, and always will. From the groaners to the classic family fails, from the snappy comebacks to the quotes or quips, she's "got a million of 'em!" ...

"My cousin Carol and I went to a dance [in the '50s] and a really unbecoming guy asked us if one of wanted to dance. 'She does!' I piped up. Carol reluctantly joined the beast for a dance while I snickered just for her to see. Just then, I feel a hand, patting me on the shoulder. I turn to see his buddy, who was even more unsavory! Now it was Carol's turn to laugh."

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! Thanks for making me laugh, even at myself. I hope you like the KitchenAid glass mixing bowl I sent via Amazon. (Which is another gift for me, in a way, because you can make some cookies for me!) I'll call you later!

It's About Time I Celebrated Burns Night

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Two haggis(es) in the front and a Rutabaga in the back.

It may be hard to believe but I've never celebrated Burns Night in the 11 years that I've lived in England. The main reason for that being: haggis. Ick.

My husband invited a few of his mates from the pub over for a Burns Supper this year, though, so I had to participate insofar as the cooking was concerned. And the drinking of whiskey! I've made haggis for my husband on Burns Night before — it's not difficult. But I've never been tempted to try it.

The haggis, after the plunging of the knife. 

One of his friends, Martin, tried to convince me that haggis is similar to sausage. True, the meat is ground, mixed with a filler, and encased. However, that's where the similarities end for me. The meat is sheep's liver, heart and lungs. The filler is oatmeal and suet. And the casing is the sheep's stomach. Ick.

Haggis is traditionally served with "tatties and neeps".  I knew that "tatties" were potatoes but I had never heard of a "neep". It's still confusing. "Neeps" is the Scottish diminutive of turnips ("nips"), a small, round, purple and white bulb that is related to cabbage and kohlrabi. Turnips taste nice (and I prefer them raw, the same as my kohlrabi).

But my husband, and many others, call a rutabaga a neep. "Rutabaga" is the Swedish word for "round root" and is known as a "Swede" in many countries, including England. It has a strong, unpleasant taste and was eaten by the Germans only in times of famine. Ick.

Neeps and Tatties.

The neeps and tatties are boiled and mashed separately and served with the haggis, which is baked for an hour in a pan of shallow water. The haggis is brought to the table with much pomp and circumstance; a tribute, "Address to a Haggis," is read and the knife plunged into the bulging haggis at a particular point in the poem. Toasts are made (to the haggis) all around.

My mashed potatoes were beautiful, as always, but I wasn't a fan of the mashed neeps. I had a small taste and they did remind me of cabbage but they were quite strong and almost bitter. I couldn't bring myself to even taste the haggis. Ick.

Burns Night=Pizza Night for me.

I ordered a pizza instead. But I did drink enough whiskey to be able to read a poem aloud — as is the custom at these Burns Suppers.

I thought my husband and his friends would have a more laid-back affair but they followed the typical routine, to the letter.

The format for these celebrations begins with a general welcome, which is followed by the Selkirk Grace:

"Some hae meat and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit."

John reads one of Robert Burns' poems.

An overview of Burns' life and work can be given at this point — most people read their favorite of "Rabby's" poems, and much toasting and whiskey-drinking ensues. It can be difficult to read and understand his poetry (as illustrated with the verse above) but nearly everyone is familiar with his most famous work, "Auld Lang Syne." This song, which most of us associate with New Year's Eve (or Hogmanay), is sung at the conclusion of the supper.

Knife in hand, Martin reads "Address to a Haggis."

Cranachan (a boozy concoction made with oats, whipped cream, honey, whiskey and raspberries) or Tipsy Laird (whiskey trifle) can be served for dessert. Since I prefer to bake cookies, I made Delia Smith's Scottish Butter Shortbread for them. Delia uses semolina, which gives the cookie a crunchier texture (and I always have semolina because I use it to make pizza dough). Anyway, most recipes rely on three main ingredients — flour, sugar and butter — so it's practically foolproof.

Delia's Scottish Butter Shortbread.

I doubt I'll be celebrating Burns Night again anytime soon but I didn't mind making the dinner; I enjoyed sharing the shortbread and the whiskey; and it was fun to learn about the traditions associated with this Scottish holiday. Finally.

The whiskeys.

Santa-to-be

Dec 10, 2007

Charlie, who is only three, keeps saying, "When I grow into a man, I'm going to be Santa Claus." Lucky me, huh? He's at that perfect age to enjoy all things Christmas and I'm having the time of my life.

He had his Christmas party at Montessori School, so I took the camcorder to preserve the moment for posterity. They did a yoga routine, then sang:

Once there was a snowman,
Who had a carrot nose.
Along came a rabbit
And what do you suppose?
The hungry little rabbit
Was looking for some lunch,
He ate the snowman's carrot nose,
Munch, munch, munch!

Naturally, they performed gestures that matched the words and it was delightful. They also sang a few classics, such as "Jingle Bells," "Away in a Manger," and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." And there was "When Santa Got Stuck in the Chimney," which started like this:

When Santa got stuck in the chimney,
He began to shout,
"You girls and boys won't get any toys
If you don't help me out."

They finished with another holiday tune set to "Frère Jacques":

Father Christmas, Father Christmas,
He got stuck, he got stuck,
Going down the chimney, going down the chimney,
What bad luck! What bad luck!

Charlie enjoyed repeatedly
decorating his tree.

Of course, he's been singing them all week at school. So they've been stuck in his head and he's been singing them at home ( and teaching them to me, too).

He brought home hand-made cards for Mama and Dada, and an ornament he made with a compact disc and a ton of glitter. He made chocolate-covered coconut candies too. I'm so proud of him.

His favorite song this year is "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." He loves the video too. Last year it was "A Charlie Brown Christmas," "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and "Frosty the Snowman." In fact, I had to leave those tapes out all year long because he couldn't get enough of them.

He has his own shiny tree that he decorates over and over - nearly every day! He hung all our stockings on the mantle, then filled them with his own toys! He's going to make a great Santa!

THIS MASQUERADE

Charlie went on a play date last summer with a friend from school and when they dropped him off at home, he was wearing a mermaid costume! Apparently, they'd spent the afternoon dressing up in various costumes and Charlie was allowed to borrow the mermaid outfit over the weekend (much to Neil's dismay!).

My homophobic hubby doesn't mind when Charlie dresses as Superman or a cowboy or a pirate, but he's not too thrilled when Charlie dons a chartreuse shirt of mine, which he calls his dress. It seems Neil thinks I could be pushing Charlie down a flowery path that might lead to a career in hairdressing or interior design! (Not to mention the fact that Charlie takes ballet at school!) But I've never coached Charlie in lisping or bending his wrist, I simply encourage him to use his imagination.

I'm usually not bothered by his public displays either. We went with Neil to Brighton when he was covering a race there and Charlie decided to wear the complementary shower cap on a shopping trip. While on vacation in Cornwall, he insisted on wearing his terry cloth shark poncho to dinner. When England was playing in the World Cup, he bought a curly wig with a St. George's flag on it (in other words, it was white with a red cross) and wore that through town.
His desire to dress up has led us to acquire a variety of costumes — some left over from Halloween, and others we've purchased at Woolworth's or Toys R Us. At first, it was difficult to find costumes for boys. Why retailers cater to girls dressing up and not to boys is beyond me. His first outfit was a Peter Pan costume we bought at The Disney Store for Halloween when he was three. He was still wearing it well after the holiday and it's doubled as an elf outfit at Christmas and the Pied Piper (after watching the Charlie Brown video version).

Since then, we've bought a wonderful cowboy outfit, complete with chaps; a fireman's costume; and a wizard's robe and pointy hat. He also has a knight's helmet he sent his dad out to get while he was in York; a bejeweled king's crown; and a raccoon hat that I bought on ebay when he was on his "Christmas Story" kick. Once he decided he wanted to be Cruella de Ville so we bought a yard of Dalmatian-like fur at the fabric store and made a poncho out of it that suited him nicely.

If the particular costume he requires can't be had right away, then we're forced to dust off our own imaginations to address his wardrobe needs. After watching "WIlly Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" a few dozen times, he desperately wanted to be a blueberry like Violet. I dressed him in blue clothes, put blue face paint on him and he wore his curly blue wig. Later, I put an old blue shirt of mine on him and stuffed it with old clothes to plump him up!
I've had to make a chef's hat, a mermaid's tail and a kilt from paper. And even my mom had to get in on the act and rummage through her jammie drawer to find a suitable substitute for the green "dress" we'd left at home on a recent visit back to the States. (Fortunately his cousin, Jordan, came over with some gowns later in the week and he was in heaven!)

If you can't come up with what he needs, why he'll make it himself. He once made a costume from paper so he would look like Johnny Torch of the Fantastic Four. He made and colored a firey mask and arm bands and wore them for days.
Of course, accessories and props are a must. There are earrings (one fashioned by Grandma; magnetic ones from Claire's) and other jewelry; hats (from bonnets to helmets); magic wands; swords, hatchets, guns; eyeglasses, eye patches and shades; teeth, noses, moustaches and wigs; and wings, robes and masks.
When we took him to Toys R Us for his birthday last week, he bought a Spiderman outfit (see Shrove Tuesday post) and a pirate's scarf with a skull and crossbones on it (should go nicely with his hook hand, eye patch and skull earring!). He wanted a Viking hat with horns but I haven't been able to find one for kids online. Maybe on our next trip to York...

SHROVE TUESDAY

Frankly, I'd never heard of Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) being called Shrove Tuesday until I moved to England. And it's no wonder: it's celebrated in the United Kingdom, Ireland and Australia. "Shrove" is the past-tense of "shrive," meaning to obtain absolution for one's sins through confession and penance. Now there's a Christian concept I'm familiar with. And I must digress for just a mo...
This time last year, I decided to go back to church, thinking it wouldn't do either me or Charlie any harm. I've always found a certain solace in the Catholic church and Charlie was interested, to say the least. After just a few weeks, he was holding services at home with grape juice and crackers, much in the same way that my sister Lisa and I used to as girls. By the time Easter rolled around, he had moved beyond his portrayal as Father Charlie and assumed the role of the angry mob as he tied his Spiderman to a cross and thrust a spear through his side!
Then, last week, I was telling Mom how we should probably get back there but Neil would have to take us in the car and pick us up afterward because it's too great a walk now that we've moved. Then I said I hadn't been to confession here yet because it's such a small parish and town that it would be fairly obvious to Father Peter that the decidedly Hillybilly accent on the other side of the screen must belong to the only American in the pews. I jokingly wondered if I couldn't just do it online and googled "online confession." Well, lo and behold, up came: http://www.onlineconfession.org/
The site has a link called "confess" that takes you to a page where you can anonymously confess to your sin, then click a button confirming that you are truly sorry for your sins. You are then taken to a page where you are absolved of your sin(s) and you receive penance (a sample confession of not attending church for six months garnered me 23 Hail Marys and 2 Our Fathers).
Bear in mind, fellow sinners, that the church does not accept this evasive approach, so you'd probably have to eventually confess confessing online! For an intentionally humorous online confessional, visit Father Net at http://tellthe.net/confess/, where the same sin resulted in the comment: "You are one sick puppy!"
OK, back to Shrove Tuesday, which is more commonly known here as Pancake Day. Since the fast of Lent was fast approaching, Anglo-Saxon Christians needed to dispose of such rich ingredients as eggs, sugar and milk. Since pancakes and doughnuts were an efficient way of using up these perishable items, pancakes became a celebratory feast on the day before Lent.
The traditional toppings, which we used, are a squirt of Jif lemon and a sprinkle of granulated sugar. An old commercial here used to say: "Don't forget the pancakes on Jif lemon day." You can see a video showing how Jif lemons are made at: http://www.unilever.com/ourcompany/newsandmedia/videolibrary/foods/jif.asp?W=320&H=286
Fortunately, Jif makes Pancake mix in a bottle. Just add milk, shake and pour into the skillet. It's very much akin to our Bisquick. Charlie was keen on flipping the pancakes too, which we did, and not one wound up stuck to the ceiling!
Today, many other sweet and savory toppings are used, including Nutella and Marmite (blech!). I would have preferred Doughnut Day!

NEW HOUSE

As I said, I'll probably backtrack for a while to get caught up on the things that have been going on with us recently.
Charlie's waving to me from the front porch of our house. We moved on January 16, four days after I had a wisdom tooth removed!
We got what we thought was a great deal on the movers. But this past month has led to some unsettling discoveries. First, and foremost, we never located the back cushions for our sofa. I called the movers straight away and they said the cushions must be stuffed into some boxes, to protect some delicate items. To be fair, I hadn't yet been through all the boxes, so I got out my Sharpie and started marking the contents of all the boxes (wouldn't you think the movers would have done that?!).
Of course, some of them I had to open and unpack as the business of life demanded various items be found: my skillet, Charlie's crayons, my CDs, Neil's laptop.
Meanwhile, I set up my computer so I could write up the agenda for the St. Andrew's School Support Group meeting (of which I have been roped into being president). That's when I discovered that the movers broke the paper holder on my printer. So I had to feed it sheet by sheet until I bought an ink cartridge for my other printer!
Since then, I've found broken Denby dessert dishes, a broken Cargo martini glass and a bookshelf that was destroyed. What I haven't found are those damned sofa cushions and: a Denby salad bowl; the crystal mantel clock my mother gave us for Christmas in 2001; an Egyptian-style statue; a mother-and-child figurine; two crystal candlestick holders; a pyramid candle holder; and Charlie's two piggy banks (a Courier-Journal Savvy pig and an airplane that he painted himself) that were filled with coins!
Needless to say, we've made a claim. We're waiting to hear back.
There were a few teething problems too: the previous owner's stove wasn't installed properly/safely, so mine needed an electrician and a gas plumber to be installed! The dryer broke and had to be replaced (the repairman said it was inevitable and not down to the movers). The kitchen was built around the dishwasher (CRAZY, eh?), so I have to use the one that's here until we're ready to go down that convoluted route to install mine. It was two weeks before the phone was installed; and another two weeks before we got broadband. And we had to pay about £370 to have an aerial (antenna) installed to watch basic TV!
The upside: We live on a walk, not a street, so Charlie can play safely to his heart's content out front. We have a lovely green lawn (our first since moving to England) out front and a beautiful green patch in the back and loads of plants and shrubs to enjoy as the spring and summer unfold. There's a nice walkway out front with a perfect slope for scooter riding. And we're looking forward to teaching Charlie how to ride his bicycle without stabilisers (training wheels) and breaking out the grill for a few barbies when it warms up a bit.

Hi Ya!

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Originally uploaded by Wonton Woman.

That's the customary greeting here, so I figure, when in Wantage...
I've toyed with the idea of keeping a blog for about a year now but, as I said in my "about me box," I live a fairly quiet life, so what's to tell?! But a recent exchange with my friend, Angela, made me reconsider. It was fluke (especially considering the time difference) that we happened to be online at the same time and we spent a few hours catching up and trading digital photos. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and I admit, I miss keeping a journal and I miss writing, although I still use those old-fashioned stand-bys -- the pen and paper -- to write letters, cards and postcards. Still, there's something to be said for the global message, so here I am.
I imagine I'll be tottering between the past and the present in my postings. And there's always a lot going on where Charlie's concerned! He turned six yesterday, so we've been busy celebrating this whole week. He had a bowling party with 15 of his closest friends on Sunday. It was a great time and I couldn't help reminiscing about all the bowling fun I've had in my life. Mom and Dad bowled (and had trophies to prove it!); my sister, Lisa, and I bowled (and walked for miles to get to our league games each week!); and in recent years, I bowled with several friends after we got the bowling bug from watching the Cohen Bros.' "The Big Lebowski."
Anyway, we'll have to go back and roll a few as a family. The kids had all the fun Sunday.
We came back from the party and he opened all his presents. Now it's time to send out the thank-you notes. I found a really cute site for customized cards (http://www.dltk-cards.com), so I was able to use a bowling template (the pins are shaking and screaming as the ball heads toward them) and personalize each note with the friends' names and gifts they gave. All Charlie has to do is sign the cards!
Monday, he got two more presents from some friends of his. Tuesday, we took him to Toys R Us, where his is such a cheap date! He chose a spiderman costume (he LOVES to dress up), a Thomas the Tank Engine train (Diesel 10) and a pirate's hat and earring.
Then yesterday, on the big day, he got to open his two presents from Grandma -- a doctor's kit and a Black & Decker toy screwdriver -- which he hasn't stopped playing with. He also got two books from our former neighbor, Linda, who's the best neighbor I ever had. He had his favorite dinner -- spaghetti Bolognese -- and chocolate cake with chocolate icing. I found some really cool candles too -- they burn red, purple, green, blue and orange flames! All the kids at his party were asking how I got them to do that! (Find out more at www.angelflames.com.)
I can't believe he's six!! (That means he has to spend six minutes on the naughty step now!)